


You've Got Mail

by Wheresarizona



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Funny, My First Fanfic, tasertricks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 03:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5989872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wheresarizona/pseuds/Wheresarizona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy and Loki make a special delivery</p>
            </blockquote>





	You've Got Mail

**Author's Note:**

  * For [leftennant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/leftennant/gifts), [SweetSigyn (ferbette)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferbette/gifts).



> This is the first thing I have written, ever. It stems from some comments that were made on Leftennant's amazing story "Darcy Lewis, Queen of Hearts...and also Midgard." What I've written is literally just something cracky and fun that I had stuck in my head. Any errors are mine and please let me know what you think.

The raucous laughter emitting from the living room meant one of two things; either Darcy had stumbled upon hilarious animal videos again or she discovered something that would lead to much mischief. With the lack of animal noises, Loki guessed the second to be the source.

"Loki!" Darcy shouted, laughter still in her voice. "Is there a possibility I could have a package delivered to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? Do you have Owl post or an Asgardian mail delivery service?"

It took Loki a second to realize Darcy was referring to Odin as "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

 _Arrogant, elitist, bigoted, tyrannical; yes, definitely traits the Dark Lord and All-father have in common._ Loki thought to himself.

"Well, for personal matters there are spells that allow the sender to cast an image of oneself to communicate with another. There's sending letters by couriers or Raven. Nothing like Midgardian postal service or those electronic letters. Anything sent to _You Know Who_ is read by the Royal steward who then relays matters of importance to the King. Personal letters that are not looked upon by the steward are quite uncommon, though not necessarily impossible."

"So, you would be able to get something to him without anyone opening it first?"

"I'm the God of Mischief, of course I could. What are you wanting to send?"

The slyest smile enveloped Darcy's face, eyes sparkling with merriment.

"Come see for yourself."

Loki briskly walked to her side, gazing upon the computer screen. He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face or the look of awe as he stated, "Darling, you are without a doubt the Goddess of Mischief." Turning his head to meet her gaze he continued, "This is something we absolutely must witness when he receives it. I know just the invisibility spell for the both of us."

 

Upon entering his personal study, Odin was a bit surprised to come across an ornate box upon his desk. The box looked like a small, white treasure chest decorated in a golden floral design, with the top latched to the front.

Odin sat himself at the desk and examined the box. He unlatched the front and slowly opened it. He was not prepared for what was inside.

Sitting on top of a clear bag of various colored items was a piece of folded parchment, picking it up from the bag and unfolding it, was written in bold black letters "EAT A BAG OF DICKS." Upon further investigation of the clear bag, he realized the colorful items were small phallic shaped candies.

The parchment and bag were dropped suddenly, his face turning a deep scarlet, eye bulging, and neck muscles straining as he roared with anger. In his fit of rage, he stood up and proceeded to discard every item on the desk in one large motion with his arms. The bag of penises scattering everywhere.

 

In a dark corner of the study, Darcy bent down to pick up a stray candy. Turning towards Loki she stared matter of factly,

"I think he's mostly upset with how accurately proportioned they are to his own equipment."

And with that, they disappeared to their shared home, laughing hysterically.

**Author's Note:**

> I sent a bag of dicks to a couple of my friends. It's a thing you can do online that will send the package anonymously with the sign and everything. The gummy dicks are apparently very tasty.


End file.
